Fresh.

New start, new blog name. I was going to change the entire blog as the URL for this one is no longer as sentimental as it was in the past, but I couldn't find anything else that worked as well. So I don't know if a new blog name means a new direction with the blog but we will see. I read quite a number of really amazing blogs and find they talk about a number of different things, have blog 'segments' and include a hell of a lot more instagram photos than I do. My blog has never been for any one else, it's basically been an online diary that I can make look pretty, but maybe I will continue into a whole new realm of blogging. As you can see how the side I have included some IG photos (which when I become more techsavvyy I hope I will be able to convert to links) of some of my favourite photos and favourite things. I find I eat a lot of amazing food (whether out or home cooked), own a large (and growing) amount of clothes and surround myself with so many amazing people that maybe it will be nice to focus the blog on those things for a while.

My life is on track, truly happy (unlike previous statements of happiness). This time round I am taking it with a new sense of gratitude. Happiness scares me beyond belief, but that's something I will leave for another post because I need sleep now!

Cheered Up, Buttercup.

Because I am way happier today than I was on Friday (due to my new, perfect, better paying job which I start on Tuesday), I thought I would share two instagram photos which always put a big smile on my face and I thought I would remind everyone again (because I stumbled accross it today) of my favourite quote. Happy Wednesday friends.

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”

When Life Gives You Lemons.

Pretty sure I did something really bad in a past life and I am still making up for it now. It almost seems since I have become an adult things keep going a little more down hill. Adulthood started off okay and then it seemed to land slide into oblivion in the past two years or so. I really thought my bad 2011 luck a wore off (or should I say I really tried to act like it had), but it seems no matter how hard I try and mentally convince myself life is good, it's not...it's like the more I try and make things good, the more I try and tell myself I'm happy the worse it gets until I am at the point where I can't even think about my current situation without having a little panic attack.

I know I shouldn't complain, especially in a forum so open that not only the people who love me, but also the people who hate me can read...but to be honest, I don't care..I'm going to complain because it's my blog and I just want to take a little minute to feel sorry for myself.

So let's sum up my day today 6.35am our car (our ONLY car as mine is still getting fixed) broke down, no it's not a flat battery and no we don't have RAC. Luckily enough we have a mechanic who will fix it all for us and Jesse's work will pay for it all. 9.05am I get fired from my job, made 'redundant' blah blah blah. I don't get much of a reason, so don't ask me why. So this sucks alot because I have bills to pay, it ESPECIALLY sucks a lot because I got fired 20 minutes before I had to go RUN AN EVENT andddddddddddd because I HATE my job anyways and never got the chance to tell my boss to shove his pathetic job up his ass.... and THEN at 9.50am I get a call from the 2nd job I had gone for a 2nd interview with to be told I didn't get the job and they have no reason because (*and I quote*) 'you interviewed great and would be amazing at the job, but so did the other candidate and we flipped a coin....he won'. However, I am pretty lucky to have another job interview lined up (though I have not only the most ridiculously low expectations but also ridiculously low self esteem right now). So that's a little plus.

I feel that no one ever really gives you five minutes to be upset when life is horribly shit. Maybe for a day or two I don't want to be 'strong', maybe I don't want to be assured 'I will be right'....maybe, I just want to feel sorry for myself, occasionally have a little panic attack about the fact I no longer have an income and MAYBE, JUST MAYBE....I don't want to hear people's smart ass comments or pointless reminder of why their day was worse than mine.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So that's what I am doing, as usual...being strong, getting over it and moving on. As usual with no one and nothing other than myself to rely on to figure it out. I am waiting for that day in my life where things can just be good and for once, I can truly be happy with this thing which is meant to be a life. For once I want to be the person things go right for, for once I want things to go wrong for someone other than me. Yes okay, maybe I just need to man up and be strong, but maybe after being so strong for so long, I am tired of being strong and frustrated and angry that these things keep happening to me. And before anyone says it, yes life is hard, yes it's only going to get harder and yes I should stop complaining. After this little pity party, maybe I will start feeling better.

Food For Thought

I don't know if I have written about this before....but I love to cook. Seriously, spending a friday night at home with a bottle of wine cooking some form of amazing dinner (a recipe I have usually sourced from www.taste.com.au) is somewhat perfection to me. I'm not a big desert person but I love to cook everything else, particularly spanish food (tapas!!). Luckily, I have traveled enough to learn about the food of different countries. When I travel, I eat the most authentic food I can find. I live for a holiday where I can spend my time in little restaurants, street carts or bistros trying all the different food a country has to offer.

Not only do I love to cook, but I love food. Jesse and I spend many a night at different eateries across Perth. Whether it be our favourite Vietnamese food (Siagon), our new found dim-sum love (Hong Kong Dim Sum Trolley), a cute little boutique bar and tapas (The Cabin), Japanese infusion tapas (Bonsai and Ha-lu), good old authentic tapas (Duende), cheap pub food (The Hyde Park Hotel) or a sunny afternoon lunch (Mad Monk) the list of our 'favourite' eateries almost seems endless at the moment. We try in some capacity to eat out at least once a week, cook a fabulous new recipe at least once a week and above all else continually eat as healthy as possible.

The newest craze of our food loving lives is the farmers market on either a saturday or sunday morning. We are in love with going down to subiaco (it seems to be proven the best one closest to us) and nudging our way through the screaming asian grocers and fast paced customers. Creating meals based on fresh produce has truly become a passion of mine. This week alone I bought 4 types of fresh herbs and only spent $3.00 (though to most of your reading this isn't exciting, you can trust me I have never been happier than making this discovery). Another new favourite of ours is asian grocers where we can find a large assortment of crazy random foods including Jesse's new favourite - aloe water.

As I am on the cusp of finally getting my life on track it's so much fun to be able to seriously play house. In addition to cooking, I am spending a lot of time blog searching for inspiration of our renovations. I can't wait to finally have the money and time to get everything finished (hopefully by mid year....eeeekkkk!). As usual we are holiday planning and dreaming for what the future has in store. First stop on our list is China (YAY!) depending on my work schedule. I may not be your typical 21 year old partying and going crazy....but for the first time ever I think I have finally found my balance.

Hakuna Matata

If good things in life came easy you would never get a sense of self satisfaction when you achieved them. After coming out on the better side of the most negative, horrendous and down right shocking year of my life, I am still sickening positive about moving forward. In the words of my Lion King friends...

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy

Adaptation.

I'm loving my new found adulthood, but a little unsure on where exactly I fit in to the world right now. Most of my friends are older than me...they are getting married and having babies. A number of friends are my age or younger and absolutely nothing like me in the way they live at home with their parents, spend their money on clothes and going out and have never worked 8 hours straight while the sun was still up. That leaves me in quite a predicament. I'm stuck between the age I am by number, and the age I feel by life style. Older people find it amazing that I do what I do at the age I'm at but still think I have a lot of 'maturing to do', and my younger friends think I am a crazy person. I'm stuck between where I was and where I am going.

The last few months I have been on a bit of a bender (much to the dismay of my family and much to the approval of my friends). On at least three separate occasions I have been called 'too wild' for some of the people around me. I find that concept HILARIOUS. I have come to realise I have two Jade's- normal Jade that spends nights cooking dinner, reading books, watching out-dated sitcoms and chatting idly with my boyyfie and the other Jade that drinks to the point of alcohol poisoning, dances in the middle of the street in the rain and enjoys any excuse to drink and party. What most people who consider me 'wild' don't realise is 90% of time I am sit at home read a book Jade and not crazy doing tequila shots Jade. The ratio between the two Jade's is strongly against the latter, but for some reason everyone only acknowledges the Jade that doesn't remember the night before.

This year is all about adapting into my new found adulthood and finding other ways to enjoy life than to go out with friends who find fun in nothing but night clubs. For the first time I have 'couple friends' (and may I add in many instances they are my favourite type of friends) who actually adore their partners equal to what I do and are happy to spend a boozey night with the boyfriend that out in a seedy night club. My life has become a continual balancing act between what people expected of me and what I had decided I wanted to be. For the first time in a long time, I am free to be who I think I should be and not who everyone else expects me to be.

For example I spent the better part of Wednesday night last week in the pool drinking cider with my best friend. After almost a decade of friendship it occurred to me no matter what, above anything she will be there for me thick and thin. We don't have to agree on everything, we don't have to live the exact same life styles...we can go out and party or we can sit and home and talk shit...either way it's fine. A part of adulthood is finding friends that become family. Similar to my boyfriend, my best friend is my family. She will yell at me if she needs too, she will call me on my bullshit and tell me when I'm wrong...because she can and we will love each other either way. It's situations and relationships like this one I am striving for this year. Simplistic and authentic.

I think this year is the biggest journey. Moving from a to b, I hope positive things continue to happen. I was never a believer that things or people can alter your life and your path, but I have found removing negativity enables positivity. I have surrounded myself with people who like me for me. When I say me I mean the 21 year old with a boyfriend who means it all to me, who owns a house, who would rather spend money on and with that boyfriend than anything else and who does EVERYTHING to try and maintain the perceptions of what those around me want me to be. I have come to realise that no matter what some people say or think, I'm a good friend to those who are good to me and luckily for me I have found some amazing people.

Never Ask For More.

I am loving 2012. It's all about growing up, strengthening the most important relationships & spending lots of time with this guy.

I think the reason I am so unlucky in life is because I got so lucky with him. I could never ask for more.