Lady of Leisure.

At the moment there are two points which I consider worth mentioning. Firstly, I am reading a new book. A cutsie little lovey dovey book called 'Lunch in Paris' by Elizabeth Bard. Its a story about the author meeting her husband. He was a Parisian student and she was an American student on exchange in London. So far, a chapter or so in they have fallen in love. Like most French people (or so I assume) he can cook, which seems to be the alluring factor which draws the author to him. Each chapter ends in recipes which he/they cook throughout the story. It's very cute so far and very lovely.

I have spent a lot of time reading lately. A lot of time reading and a lot of time thinking. This is a recipe for creativity. When I was young, I always wanted to write a book. I never knew what on, and I never knew how but I knew I wanted to do it. As I grew older I lost sight of this dream, but lately I have managed to rediscover my passion for writing. I wouldn't know when, I don't even think I would know how to write a novel, but I think it's something I would like to focus my time on. I left my journalism degree due to the lack of real creativity and the crazy amount of stuck up 'I am god's gift' people that I came across, but writing is and always will be something which is extremely important to me. I don't think I am overly talented but I am passionate and eager to learn which I think is all you need to achieve such a dream. Most importantly, I have a story to tell. Something which I consider worth reading and worth telling. I know so many people who have an understanding of my life and my experiences and who disagree with this idea. But the older I have grown the more I have realised my story is worth telling and it is something which interests people who I decide to share it with.

The second point. I quit my job. After 2 years at Westnet, I quit. Why? Because it felt right. Because it continually stressed me out. Because I need to put myself and my university degree first. Because I was beginning to hate it. I feel stupid because I have noreal reason. No new job. No super angry reason to quit. But I think I have made the right choice. It's 3 weeks until I go to Europe (I had to give 2 weeks notice, so really it will be 1 week of unemployment before my trip). When I get back I have 1 month of work experience with the Retirement Village Association working directly with the regional Public Relations and Marketing manager. So yeah it's not glamorous, but she is AMAZING and so dedicated to her profession. I'm not looking for glamor, I am looking for hard work where I can push myself and apply the skills I'm learning. So as of December 13th, I will be unemployed.

Life is filled with uncertainty at the moment.I have never made such an uncertain decision so to be completely honest I have no idea what to expect for the future. I guess the unknown is exciting and exhilarating, but at the same time its petrifying. I am good at change and I am terrible at change all at the same time. I am happy within my decision and know for the first time in my life, I have put myself and my needs before the needs of others and I love myself for it.

Christmas in the Air.

I love Christmas. Like so so much. I love Christmas shopping, Christmas food, Christmas day, Christmas lights, Christmas decorations. EVERYTHING. This year, I will be spending Christmas in a (hopefully) snow covered Paris drinking wine and eating cheese in a quiet hotel room while listening to Kanye and Cudi. I can't wait to walk the streets of Paris in winter clothes to discover quiet little cafes and pubs, amazing clothing stores, museums, art galleries and everything in between. It's three weeks until we go, I have so much to do before we leave...work, see friends and family, buy the last of my essentials (YES I need 10 books for the plane rides there AND back) and enjoy the pre-Christmas festivities. Being so busy means time is flying by and I love it. In a week or so I am driving down south with the lovely Amanda to spend a few nights drinking and eating and beaching (most likely all at the same time) because according to her we don't do enough 'girl things' like trips. It's an exciting couple of weeks and I seriously am going to explode from excitement about this holiday!!

You Two are Like Married!?

For any of you have been in a long term relationship before, you will know exactly what this blog is referring too. For those of you who haven't, your probably one of the people I am talking about. As most of you may know from previous posts (or the sheer fact that no one other than my mum, auntie and possibly a few close friends read this) I have been in a relationship since I was 15, which makes it 5 years in fact. I like this, I like this a lot. As the years rolled on and I have become older I have started to notice the reactions people make when they find out this little piece of information about myself. There are two categories of reactions which I regularly receive. The first response is what I have come to name the 'marriage' response. It goes a little something like this: Random: 'How long have you been with your boyfriend for?', Jade: 'Uhhhmmm 5 years', Random: 'OHHHH MYYYYY GOODDDDDDDDDD you two are like married', Jade: 'Haha uhm yeah nahhh', Random: 'OMG when are you going to get married? Are you going to get married? Obviously your going to get married. Can I come to your wedding?'. The second response is the 'are you an idiot' response. It goes like this: Random: 'How long have you been with your boyfriend for?', Jade: 'Uhhhm 5 years', Random: 'OMG really?! What is wrong with you, what since you were 15? Wow your crazy?!?!'

In reference to the first response (it's actually my personal favourite) it's it hilarious people assume a 20 year old should be married if they are in a long term relationship? Yes we have been dating a long time, no we are not engaged. Why? Because I am 20 years old! My question is, what should triumph age or time?

Procrastination

Today, anything seems better than studying. Including a lunch with loverman at The Garden and taking numerous aimless webcam photos. The art of procrastination is something I have perfected. So much so that I have an exam on Monday and I haven't studied anything. On the plus side, you get to see some aimless photos from my webcam which include my new op shop earrings ($3.99!!), anchor tattoo and the introduction of my favourite summer clothing item, the maxi dress! Enjoy...

I try to study, but the computer is filled with so many amazing distractions! Below, anchor tattoo and my half renovated unit aka 'crapbox'. It's a work in progress.

Now, after this minor distraction I will be hitting the books and studying Corporate Public Relations. Its not a had class, not even a lot of learn. I am just suuuuuuper lazy haha!

"The One"

How do we know we have found the person we are going to marry? How do we come to that decision and know within ourselves that its the right one? We are a generation brought and surrounded by divorce. I think because of our over exposure to divorce it has lead our generation (especially the girls) completely over thinking every aspect of love and marriage and in turn end up with a ridiculous fairytale perception of marriage.

Last night after a number of cocktails and glasses of wine, I found myself sitting in the courtyard of 'The Court Hotel' discussing everything love and marriage with one of my closest friends. Her idea, love is only a psychological element of life and something that any one is capable of feeling for any one. Her exact words 'if you put me in a room with any man for an extreme period of time, chances are I could love him'. Realistic or Pessimistic? I pondered her outlook throughout our conversation and wondered what it stemmed from? Her parents are together, married for over 20 years. She has been in 3 long term, committed relationships so it's not like love is something she hasn't found or seen. I have always agreed with her idea. I was never looking for the lovey dovey bullshit which you see in the movies, I was looking for a best friend, someone I wanted to spend my time with. But I love the idea of love. I love the story behind it and thats something I would fight to keep.

The modern day idea of love seems to be so different to that of our parents and our grandparents. Our grandparents married young and stayed together 'forever' usually no matter how unhappy their marriage was. Our parent's were brought up in those households of unhappy marriages and in turn began to turn to divorce in their own marriages instead of sacrificing their happiness. My generation is scared of marriage, scared of the commitment of a 'life' with someone. We don't want to marry 'the wrong person' and be unhappy for the rest of our lives and we don't want to marry just to turn to divorce. We want to marry 'mister perfect' and have the happy fairytale life, but does that exist? We spend so much time 'trying before buying' and over analyzing every aspect of a potential partner that we ruin things which could potential ruin something amazing. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce so of course we should be petrified.

Personally, I am not opposed to divorce. I came from a family of divorce and I know from first hand experience it is better living with one happy parent than two unhappy parents. But a marriage is a commitment, a business deal and something I would fight to uphold. We need to learn that maybe not everything is made to last for ever. You will never know if your making the right decision marrying someone but I don't think you can let that hold you back.

I am not a expert on love and marriage, but I wish I was. It something which interests me because I love the psychology behind it. I love the way it changes people for the better or the worst. I am a cynic, a critic. I laugh at the idea of people who shout their love from the roof tops. I laugh at people who get engaged after a few months of dating and who are barely adults. I love love, I love the idea of love. I love amazing love stories of people I know. But I think my generation are going out of their way to ruin love and marriage even further than the generations before us did.

ps; sorry for the epic rant. I am trying to keep them short and sweet but seems I have a lot on my mind lately. But thank you for reading ;) xo

Everything Happens for a Reason?

It seems I am filled with creativity lately but in all the wrong ways. I am completely unmotivated and utterly over university. Instead of studying for an increasingly important exam, I find myself listening to music, facestalking and writing this stupid blog. I have no sense of motivation or dedication to my stupid uni degree, which at the moment seems like a big stupid waste of my time which is only making me poor and stressed. For once I wanted something to go my way, I wanted my chance to progress in my career and put this stupid university degree to good use, but of course that can't happen as things rarely tend to go my way.

I am over working, I am overing wasting my time in an organisation where the skills I know I possess and which should be getting used are ignored. Throughout all this mess, I have found work experience with possibly one of the most amazing ladies I have ever met. Though the organisation is bland, her enthusiasm, positivity and eagerness to succeed within the PR/Marketing field gives me hope. I can't wait to work with her because people like that inspire me to do better and lets face it, I need some fucking inspiration. This woman believes in me and my skills, and blatantly wants to help me succeed. I am a believer in 'everything happens for a reason' but my faith and justification in this are starting to falter. I am hoping the fact I didn't end up getting my 'dream job' is due to the fact that there is something else in the works for me at the moment. I have the feeling I should be taking one particular path, even though it's not the easier path or the financially sound path. Something inside of me is telling me to purse this organisation and this position and for once in my life to not take no for an answer, instead prove to the 'big wigs' who dissolved the position that I am fucking amazing and they need me.

I feel like a 2 year old who isn't getting their way so instead of fighting it they stop screaming and sit in the middle of the shopping center pouting. I don't know where to turn. Left, Right? Stay comfortable? Or mix shit up in to the unknown? I usually trust my instincts and it works out fine for me, but in this case I have no frikken idea! End of Rant, time to return to the books!

Kid Cudi & Kanye

Currently listening too:

-Kanye West- 808's & Heartbreak. Possibly my favourite album of all time, even though I might be the only one. I lost my 808 CD about a year ago around the same time I lost my ipod, so I went a long time without listening to this album but finally bought it again today. I still know the album word for word and plan on listening to it every day in the car until I get his new album on disc. This album reminds me of the summer that I turned 18 when I had the volvo (which had no air conditioning) and we first moved out of home to Stirling. I would listen to this album when ever I could, which lead to it quickly becoming a soundtrack to my summer.

-Kanye West- My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Earlier this week Kanye's new album was leaked on the internet. I have listened to it once so far and it is everything as expected for a Kanye album. Amazing, absolutely amazing! I can't wait until the CD comes out and I can listen to it on repeat.

-Kid Cudi- Man on the Moon II. After 'Soundtrack to my Life', Kid Cudi has become a new favourite of mine. His new album comes a close second to my love for Kanye.

Forgiveness, or something like it.

I have been spinning around a number of ideas of what today's blog should be. A number of heated topics seemed to be sufficient for me to ramble on about for a while. But I have landed on a topic which I haven't to much thought in too lately. Forgiveness. We all do it, or don't do it. It's a part of every day life. I am stubborn, possibly the most stubborn person that I know. But contrary to popular opinion, forgiveness is not a trait I am lacking.

I have spent the past 5-6 years of my life forgiving people in my life for numerous mis-happenings. Friends, family and sometimes even complete strangers, I forgive based on my own judgement of the people who I actually need in my life and the people I don't. If you hurt me and I don't need you in my life then I am not going to forgive you, simple as that. I have forgiven people for continually hurting me in ways that they still to this day probably don't even understand. For not being there for me, for putting their own selfish ideals before the needs of the people around them and for make wrong decisions in life and leaving me hurt in the process. A best friend, a parent, extended family members and numerous other people along the way have managed to hurt me in ways which physically altered the course of my life. I have forgiven them, they are still to this day some of the most important people in my life. I chose to forgive these people over other's because they didn't hurt me with malicious intent, though in cases it was their own stupidity and selfishness that lead to my pain, at the time they didn't realise the long term impact it would have on my life and the person I have become.

I spent a number of my teenage years surrounded by the wrong people and people who I didn't need in my life. People who made the day harder, not easier. That's something which I have worked extremely hard to change and manage to cut out any one from my life that doesn't make my life better in some way. My family come first and even before anything comes my brothers. Though I love my parent's like there is no tomorrow, my brothers are the ones which I am literally going to spend the rest of my life with. I will be there to see everything they do and go through and they see it all for me. There isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for my brothers. My parent's come a close second to my brothers, with my mum being my best friend and my dad slowly becoming someone I can depend on and a friend. I am a believer that, though I love my extended family and I see them all on a more than regular basis, I don't need to like them all. I love them, but I don't need to be best friends with each one of them. They don't all need to be people I chose to spend my time with and that's something they need to grasp an understanding of. I am my own person, with my own life which doesn't revolve around my family. I am 20 years old, a university student, full time worker, home owner and girlfriend. My extended family mean the world to me, but they aren't my world (but I love the time I do spend with them talking, drinking, eating and laughing).

Forgiveness is an art, a skill. Something which though I think I am pretty good at I acknowledge the room for improvement.

My Heaven.

It's getting close. Here is comes. Christmas in Paris and New Years in Barcelona. My excitement is almost uncontainable, the thought of spending my favourite time of year with the my lover is almost unbearable. A month, four weeks, over thirty days...in heaven, in numerous countries, with a new DSLR camera, a ridiculous amount of money and lover. Heaven. The pure definition of heaven. Food. Wine. Snow. Architecture. Photography Galleries. Shopping. Food. Hotels. Landscape. Amazing, heaven. I just couldn't describe it any other way. Heaven.

Tonight is Jesse's birthday. So after an amazing dinner (which I am proud to say I cooked myself), we have resided to listening to the new Kid Cudi and Kanye West albums. AMAZING. SO AMAZING. It's amazing how listening to your favourite artist's new albums can actually be the best thing in the world. The best nights for Jesse and I are the nights which we spend at home with good food, good music and good wine. Just talking and making plans, discussing the past, the future and everything in between. Our bubble, just him, me and Archer in our teenie little bubble. Heaven.

On another note, today being back at work lead to the many questions of 'why an anchor?', after the multiple giggles and stupid responses and uhhming and ahhing I realised a purposeful meaning for our new tattoos. Stability. Thats what we give each other. Thats what we do. It's still something stupid, but also something personal and something amazing. Our heaven.

Hello Sailor, Tattoo Tuesday

Fremantle is an amazing place, somewhere which I have come to consider quite important to me. Jesse and I spent our first anniversary in Fremantle and since then we have spent a number of sunny Sunday afternoons walking around the streets, lingering in the park or at the foreshore, visiting the sights and eating champagne/beer fuelled lunches at Mad Monk, recently renamed as 'The Monk'. Nowhere is Perth makes me happier than Fremantle and the numerous great memories are something I doubt I will be forgetting an time soon.

Yesterday afternoon Jesse and I were at a typical lunch at Mad Monk, this obviously it was a Tuesday and not a Sunday. Our usual wood fired pizza and pita & dip, along with 2 wines and 2 beers lead to a tattoo discussion. I don't remember exactly how it came up, but Jesse mentioned how we should go get Anchor tattoos. We had discussed it before, I thought it was a nice idea for a 'couple' tattoo, which wasn't so couple-y that I wanted to be sick. So after laughing our heads of at the idea, we decided to go on a search for the tattoo parlour. After about half an hour of searching we finally found '5 Star Tattoos'. We walked in and asked if they had any walk in times available and they did. It took close to an hour of waiting around before we could get in, the guy quickly drew out designed and it was done. Mine being so tiny was super easy; Jesse on the other hand got a little sick. I left for 10 minutes to go get money out and I came back to him being bright green eating a Mars bar and drinking a coke. As you can imagine, I didn't let that little incident slip by without a lot of laughing at Jesse and calling him a baby (we still have no idea why it happened).

Some would say that getting a tattoo together is stupid and something we will come to regret. After 5 years together, a house, a dog, numerous holidays and joint bank accounts, I would say I wouldn't have done something so impulsive unless I was so sure of someone. We didn't get each other’s names, dates of birth or even our anniversary; we got something stupid and sentimental to us. I love it. I love the idea and the story which we have now to tell people. Below is a couple of pictures, hopefully we will get some better ones soon :)