"The One"

How do we know we have found the person we are going to marry? How do we come to that decision and know within ourselves that its the right one? We are a generation brought and surrounded by divorce. I think because of our over exposure to divorce it has lead our generation (especially the girls) completely over thinking every aspect of love and marriage and in turn end up with a ridiculous fairytale perception of marriage.

Last night after a number of cocktails and glasses of wine, I found myself sitting in the courtyard of 'The Court Hotel' discussing everything love and marriage with one of my closest friends. Her idea, love is only a psychological element of life and something that any one is capable of feeling for any one. Her exact words 'if you put me in a room with any man for an extreme period of time, chances are I could love him'. Realistic or Pessimistic? I pondered her outlook throughout our conversation and wondered what it stemmed from? Her parents are together, married for over 20 years. She has been in 3 long term, committed relationships so it's not like love is something she hasn't found or seen. I have always agreed with her idea. I was never looking for the lovey dovey bullshit which you see in the movies, I was looking for a best friend, someone I wanted to spend my time with. But I love the idea of love. I love the story behind it and thats something I would fight to keep.

The modern day idea of love seems to be so different to that of our parents and our grandparents. Our grandparents married young and stayed together 'forever' usually no matter how unhappy their marriage was. Our parent's were brought up in those households of unhappy marriages and in turn began to turn to divorce in their own marriages instead of sacrificing their happiness. My generation is scared of marriage, scared of the commitment of a 'life' with someone. We don't want to marry 'the wrong person' and be unhappy for the rest of our lives and we don't want to marry just to turn to divorce. We want to marry 'mister perfect' and have the happy fairytale life, but does that exist? We spend so much time 'trying before buying' and over analyzing every aspect of a potential partner that we ruin things which could potential ruin something amazing. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce so of course we should be petrified.

Personally, I am not opposed to divorce. I came from a family of divorce and I know from first hand experience it is better living with one happy parent than two unhappy parents. But a marriage is a commitment, a business deal and something I would fight to uphold. We need to learn that maybe not everything is made to last for ever. You will never know if your making the right decision marrying someone but I don't think you can let that hold you back.

I am not a expert on love and marriage, but I wish I was. It something which interests me because I love the psychology behind it. I love the way it changes people for the better or the worst. I am a cynic, a critic. I laugh at the idea of people who shout their love from the roof tops. I laugh at people who get engaged after a few months of dating and who are barely adults. I love love, I love the idea of love. I love amazing love stories of people I know. But I think my generation are going out of their way to ruin love and marriage even further than the generations before us did.

ps; sorry for the epic rant. I am trying to keep them short and sweet but seems I have a lot on my mind lately. But thank you for reading ;) xo