Everything Happens for a Reason?

It seems I am filled with creativity lately but in all the wrong ways. I am completely unmotivated and utterly over university. Instead of studying for an increasingly important exam, I find myself listening to music, facestalking and writing this stupid blog. I have no sense of motivation or dedication to my stupid uni degree, which at the moment seems like a big stupid waste of my time which is only making me poor and stressed. For once I wanted something to go my way, I wanted my chance to progress in my career and put this stupid university degree to good use, but of course that can't happen as things rarely tend to go my way.

I am over working, I am overing wasting my time in an organisation where the skills I know I possess and which should be getting used are ignored. Throughout all this mess, I have found work experience with possibly one of the most amazing ladies I have ever met. Though the organisation is bland, her enthusiasm, positivity and eagerness to succeed within the PR/Marketing field gives me hope. I can't wait to work with her because people like that inspire me to do better and lets face it, I need some fucking inspiration. This woman believes in me and my skills, and blatantly wants to help me succeed. I am a believer in 'everything happens for a reason' but my faith and justification in this are starting to falter. I am hoping the fact I didn't end up getting my 'dream job' is due to the fact that there is something else in the works for me at the moment. I have the feeling I should be taking one particular path, even though it's not the easier path or the financially sound path. Something inside of me is telling me to purse this organisation and this position and for once in my life to not take no for an answer, instead prove to the 'big wigs' who dissolved the position that I am fucking amazing and they need me.

I feel like a 2 year old who isn't getting their way so instead of fighting it they stop screaming and sit in the middle of the shopping center pouting. I don't know where to turn. Left, Right? Stay comfortable? Or mix shit up in to the unknown? I usually trust my instincts and it works out fine for me, but in this case I have no frikken idea! End of Rant, time to return to the books!