Birthday Girl!

I can't believe I am saying this, but god I had an amazing birthday! It all got started on Thursday where I came to work to a large can of V and a birthday banner from one of my best and most favourite work friend. The day then continued with a suprise oreo ice-cream cake from the loveliest manager I have ever had. The evening then continued at mother's house for dinner and wine. It was a good day, but only the beginning. Friday we hit the town starting with all my favourite people in Subiaco at Pure Bar, moving on the the Subi Hotel. The night wasn't over though! We spent the evening dancing up a storm and drinking some putrid tequila shots at Mustang Bar and then my all time favourite, The Court! Saturday I managed to wake up with a minimal hang over and then started all again with a family BBQ at the park near my house. So much beer, good family and the one friend who has adapted herself in to my family so well she couldn't not be invited. After the day of getting highly intoxicated in the lovely sunshine, Jesse & I passed out by like 7.30pm. Sunday morning, AGAIN no hangover! So we head out the Fremantle for lunch at the newly renamed- 'The Monk', our favourite place to spend a sunny afternoon. Now today, Monday...spent the morning cleaning and now going to spend the rest of the day with my lovely DJ before he abandons me for Melbourne tomorrow morning!

I have to say, I have never ever had such a fantastic, long winded birthday. I am so lucky to have so many fantastic people in my life who I got to spend it with.

Kinda Like Camping.

An impromptu invitation to Lower Chittering for an evening of good food, friends and drinking; combined with a last minute Sunday off work meant that I was actually able to have a little bit of fun this weekend instead of spending the whole weekend at work. Chittering is quite a beautiful place, especially in the spring, but an hour long night time drive did make it a scary place to visit. We spent the evening drinking away around a bonfire complete with roasting marshmallows. Probably the closest I will ever come to camping. For the first time we actually brought Archer along on our little adventure and he was fantastically well behaved. He spent most the night roaming around the bush and annoying his newest friend Nitro.

Finally spring has arrived. Though the weather keeps playing tricks on me and raining, all in all, day by day spring is beginning to make it's presence apparent. My birthday is slowly creeping up on me and Europe is getting closer and closer.

On another note, friday was a little bit like Christmas as I spent the day raiding Amanda and Mum's computers for photos which I have lost. So now, I finally have a good number of photos from the past few years back again! Looking through them all has made me so incredibly happy, it has also made me incredibly sad as it was such a huge reminder of the beautiful little girl I am missing out on every single day. It's a pity such selfishness is keeping us apart, but I know in my heart that one day we will be back together. I just hope she never forgets how much she means to me and just how much I absolutely love her. But anyways, here are a few of my new and old favourites.

My Bubble.

I live in a bubble. Usually my bubble consists of me, Jesse, Archer and Kity. I spend a lot of time in my bubble. Due to the fact I work a lot, my work friends are in my bubble, and that's cool because they make me laugh a lot and a very easy to get on with. My friends are sometimes in my bubble...but not all the time, but just sometime. Thats the way I like it. I like my bubble. It keeps me content and comfortable. On the occasions I let me friends in to my bubble, some times they drive me crazy and sometimes they are a fantastic addition to the bubble. I seem to find people a lot of work. To be honest, I am just not good at them in the personal sense. I screw up a lot, I get under appreciated a lot and I have a bad habit of saying/doing the wrong things. In the past I was so super confident and felt so in control of my life and my surroundings. I don't know whats change or whats happened, but it seem confidence and morale in the bubble is at an all time low. I am nervous all the time, so scared to screw up with my friends....the people who I am meant to care about and who are meant to care about me. I have lost so many friends, to so many stupid things that I constantly feel like I am walking on eggshells around the people I am meant to feel the most comfortable with. Other than the members of my bubble (Jesse, Archer, Kitty) and my family, there is no one in my life that I feel like I can trust enough to not leave me because of something I screw up. Is this a fear of abandonment? Deep seeded childhood issues? Haha I will make a physiologist very rich one day.

All I know is I prefer my bubble. No matter how strange that makes me. I do love my friends, the ones I still have anyways. But there is something so comforting to know you have something so safe to have to come home to every day.

The Bottom of the Barrel.

I wouldn't say I have a short temper, I can take a lot...but I will snap very easily once I have been pushed to the edge. One particular area which makes it very easy to push my buttons is to say something about my family or my boyfriend. I can take a joke, I can even joke with someone....but I can only take so much. My boyfriend comes first, always, no matter what. I am a very loyal person. I don't take kindly to new people, I am actually quite set in my ways. I especially don't take kindly to new people who spend their entire night wanting to start fights with, abuse and complain about everyone else. Sometimes I wonder how people can actually be so stupid and lacking in general social skills. Are social skills something you're born with? Or something you learn? A failure of basic courtesy and being polite makes me ask what your parents did so wrong?

People often question why I go out of my way not to meet new people and not to make new friends. Last night proved my point in two ways. 1) People are pigs. Anti-social, cocky, stupid pigs. Though this is a big generalisation, I find that I get reminded of this way to often to forget it. 2) I have enough trouble trying to be a good friend to the ones I have. I do manage to quite often fail at being a friend for a number of reasons. All in all, I am good intentioned.

The Climb.

I love that climb back at from what felt like the complete bottom. For example a few months ago I was hating life, feeling unsafe in my own home, laptop-less, sick, stressed and totally run off my feet. After a few changes and a few lucky chances I find I am working my way up again to be so completely ecstatic about life. Spare time is really such a wonderful thing, with only two units at uni and finishing work by 3.30 every afternoon I find I have ample time for my self, my house and my boyfriend. A little too much time even, so I have picked up a habit of watching trashy TV before Jesse gets home. Work is fantastic, I actually am back to finding myself eager to get in to the office every day purely because of how much I enjoy myself. After spending a couple of days training new staff and being offered to opportunity to run training sessions with all the current inductees at work I find myself thoroughly enjoying this training thing. So much so, I considered yet again changing my major at uni to possibly to Human Resources, only to find this wouldn't fit with my passion that I have for Public Relations. I am so happy when at work because I am surrounded with a group of fantastically hilarious people who continually make me laugh. As well as this, the work experience I have been hoping for has come along with Mullaloo Surf Club who yet again reiterated to me their desire to have me on board and are happy to help me in any way possible with my course work for school.

My stress has subsided, I can eat again. I don't constantly feel like I am forgetting or missing something. I am still finding myself a little sick, but nothing which can't be blamed on the weather. For the first time in such a long time I am back on track, and more importantly I am enjoying myself.

The only downer to all life at the moment is the fact that the closer my birthday gets the closer it gets to saying good bye to the beloved friend of mine. I am in denial at the moment, where some part of my mind makes up that he isn't going to leave. But I know he is. It's right for him and I shouldn't try and take that away. So I am putting the call out there, I have an opening for a new gay best friend. You must be intelligent; allow me to get you super drunk; be a great listener; hilariously funny; sufficiently vulgar and most important you must have no plans or desire to move away to Melbourne!

....JUST KIDDING, but seriously.