I have been spinning around a number of ideas of what today's blog should be. A number of heated topics seemed to be sufficient for me to ramble on about for a while. But I have landed on a topic which I haven't to much thought in too lately. Forgiveness. We all do it, or don't do it. It's a part of every day life. I am stubborn, possibly the most stubborn person that I know. But contrary to popular opinion, forgiveness is not a trait I am lacking.
I have spent the past 5-6 years of my life forgiving people in my life for numerous mis-happenings. Friends, family and sometimes even complete strangers, I forgive based on my own judgement of the people who I actually need in my life and the people I don't. If you hurt me and I don't need you in my life then I am not going to forgive you, simple as that. I have forgiven people for continually hurting me in ways that they still to this day probably don't even understand. For not being there for me, for putting their own selfish ideals before the needs of the people around them and for make wrong decisions in life and leaving me hurt in the process. A best friend, a parent, extended family members and numerous other people along the way have managed to hurt me in ways which physically altered the course of my life. I have forgiven them, they are still to this day some of the most important people in my life. I chose to forgive these people over other's because they didn't hurt me with malicious intent, though in cases it was their own stupidity and selfishness that lead to my pain, at the time they didn't realise the long term impact it would have on my life and the person I have become.
I spent a number of my teenage years surrounded by the wrong people and people who I didn't need in my life. People who made the day harder, not easier. That's something which I have worked extremely hard to change and manage to cut out any one from my life that doesn't make my life better in some way. My family come first and even before anything comes my brothers. Though I love my parent's like there is no tomorrow, my brothers are the ones which I am literally going to spend the rest of my life with. I will be there to see everything they do and go through and they see it all for me. There isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for my brothers. My parent's come a close second to my brothers, with my mum being my best friend and my dad slowly becoming someone I can depend on and a friend. I am a believer that, though I love my extended family and I see them all on a more than regular basis, I don't need to like them all. I love them, but I don't need to be best friends with each one of them. They don't all need to be people I chose to spend my time with and that's something they need to grasp an understanding of. I am my own person, with my own life which doesn't revolve around my family. I am 20 years old, a university student, full time worker, home owner and girlfriend. My extended family mean the world to me, but they aren't my world (but I love the time I do spend with them talking, drinking, eating and laughing).
Forgiveness is an art, a skill. Something which though I think I am pretty good at I acknowledge the room for improvement.
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