Back in Disarray.

Didn't think I would be here again. Back to not knowing. Back to waiting for some event to push off a whole new bunch of exciting and new things. Kinda like the domino effect, waiting for one to fall which in turn, ensures a the next domino falls and the next and the next. I made a decision, screw working and back to uni full time next semester! But then (as usual) a spanner in the works has made me doubt my decision. Realistically, I don't want to go back to uni full time next semester and finish my degree by the end of 2011. Why? Because I know how much hard work it will be; emotionally, physically and financially. I want to be able to work and take my time with my degree, but I want my work to be worth while. I don't want to be wasting my time at a job which has no benefit for my future unless it's purely for the reason that it is convenient for my education. So, in my dreams, I will find a job which is so educationally and financially fulfilling and rewarding that I will not be over come with guilt to continue my studies part time. Otherwise, I will see you all in 2012 because I will NEVER be leaving home in 2011 due to work and study commitments.

On another note, I have high expectations for next year. This year has seemed to be a little bit slack and not at all worth while. It's been a fun year filled with too much partying, drinking and spending A LOT of money. It's been a year where in a lot of ways I have actually felt my age, instead of a twenty something year old trapped in a teenagers body. Some times people forget, though I own a house, have a long term relationship and have a little family with Jesse, Kitty and Archer...realistically I am a twenty year old who made the decision to grow up a little too fast. So I am taking the time for myself, the time for my friends, family and relationship and also allowing myself to fuck up (let me tell you now I am pretty good at fucking up). I think this is something many of you forget, to give me a break and stop continually treating me like an adult. Next years goal is to sort the shit out, and get back on track. I just wish something would point me in the right direction!

Europe is quickly approaching and for a control freak like myself I am unbelievably unprepared. Accommodation is almost complete, planes are booked, trains are in progress and money is somewhat acquired, but I have no plans of what to do when we get there! I have little idea on what these beautiful cities we plan on residing in have to offer and to be honest, for once in my life, I am happy to just figure it out as I go. All I want is unbelievably breathtaking romance, food and a lot of fantastic wine!