Your Happiness.

Happiness; it's something we all strive to achieve and find in life. What, or who do you base your happiness on? It seems we grow up with the expectation that our happiness in life is based on other people. Our happiness is rarely dependent on our own choices and decisions. When making the conscious effort to remove your dependency of happiness away from other people in your life, you need to spend enough time realising what actually makes you happy. A (unnamed) friend of mine is currently in the process of doing this. Removing her dependency on happiness from other people on to her, if she wants to do something to make her happy...she is going to do it. I admire that, because realistically my happiness is based on everyone and everything else in my life but me.

I have been asked; is Jesse what makes me happiest in life. Contrary to popular demand, Jesse may make me happy, even happiest in life- but he isn't what I base my happiness on. Let me explain. Some people say 'doesn't matter about anything in life as long as I have love I'm happy'. Personally, I disagree. I love love, I love to be in love, I am fantastic at being in a relationship and I am much better off in life when I have a partner (so I assume because who are we kidding, I've not been single since I was 14 years old)- BUT there is so much more I want out of life, regardless of my relationship status. My number 1 life priority is my career; finish uni, get a job, become mildly successful and earn enough money to be able to finish my travel dreams- thats my goal in life. My career (future that is) will be my priority. Not for ever, but for the next 5 years I am going to be selfish and make sure I achieve what I want too. I paid a lot of money for my university degree, and put myself through a lot of suffering- I am going to god dam make that back in my job. Now don't get me wrong, I want kids and a family and to get married and what not, but the next 5 years is for work and travel. So this is something I base a large amount of my happiness on.

My family (Jesse included), my babies (kitty and Archer), my closest group of friend (who are we kidding there is like 4 of them) and the extended people who affect my life in some way all add to my happiness in life. I don't see happiness as an overall picture based on one element, I see it as a jig saw puzzle. The sad thing about this is, there is nothing I do for myself to make me happy, other than do nothing, read or write. Happiness is so dependent on so many things. No one thing, no one person encompasses the entirety of my happiness. My life as a collective makes me happy.