Disappointment; a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realised, an act that disappoints someone.
It's an emotion I find continually popping in to my head. Disappointment. Not necessarily in myself, more so disappointment in the situations and certain people around me. An act that disappoints someone. An act is usually based on a decision in which you stop and make a choice, sometimes you think of the consequences, other times you act with a distinct lack of inhibition. A feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realised. Keyword; expectations. I have always been taught- if you have no expectations you can never be disappointed. But how can anyone ever completely have no expectations? I try on an ongoing basis to lower my expectations of situations and the people around me. I don't do this as a reflection of them, I do it as a reflection of myself. I don't trust people, therefore I don't trust people to meet the expectations which I can build up in my mind. I would rather be pleasantly surprised that bitterly disappointed.
There are people in my life I would only ever describe as a disappointment to me. Maybe that is harsh? Maybe it is an unjustified description, however when you don't want someone in your life because of the actions and choices they have made you often aren't angry at them. You aren't angry. You aren't sad. You don't want to cry or scream. You just feel disappointed. Maybe because you deserved better? Maybe because the people you love deserve better? Or maybe because such an 'important' figure in your life shouldn't be so....disappointing.
I hate this emotion. I really find it the worst. It's the emotion which plagues on me the most; it's kind of toxic to my brain. I wish I could hate. Truly and completely hate instead of feeling disappointed. But I don't think it's in my nature to ever 'hate' someone, no matter how much they hurt me and I continually forgive them. So it seems I might just be stuck being disappointed in you.
i was trying to write something almost identical to this the other week but i couldnt get my words out right and kept getting too caught up in emotion for a post of this nature!
ReplyDeletei know exactly how you feel/ nice to know(although not at all - you know what i mean) that someone else feels that way too... and can word it well!
x
Haha I literally wrote this like 5 times and then landed on this one. Its hard to describe it when I'm not disappointed in myself but more in situations and people and saying it without offending people. I had someone in mind when writing though, which made it easier to clarify when writing.
ReplyDeleteyeah that was my problem - also had someone in mind, but i kept finding myself getting too personal with descriptions and examples which i didnt want! but no good job :)
ReplyDelete