Change on the Horizon.

I'm finding I don't have a lot to write about these days. I have a lot of thoughts and a little too much to say, but nothing to write about. I feel that everything is moving so quickly around me, yet I am still on pause, waiting to play. I feel the past few months of my life I have been in a tail spin of bad decisions, like I'm moving too quickly into something that doesn't seem quite right.

However, I love this time of the year. I feel there is so much hope and wistfulness in what the new year might bring. For me, I am worried about 2012, yet so excited at the same time. 2011 hasn't been a great year, in fact it's been a terrible year. I have learnt more than I ever thought I could, grown up more than I ever thought I needed and accomplished the last of my long term goals to date.

Unlike 2011, I am starting 2012 in a pretty positive way. I have a full time job within the industry of my choice, I have finished university with the grades I wanted and I have no expectations on myself. 2012 is a clean slate, a new start into adulthood. I don't feel I am ready for the world of full time employment, but I do know that I am going to work my ass off. I feel 2012 is going to be a year of change. I remember this time last year feeling so hopeful for what 2011 had to bring and so disappointed in it's results. Maybe a little too optimistically, I feel 2012 will be the year I need it to be, it will provide me with enough direction to head my life in the way I want it. As usual, I plan on spending the year focusing on those things and people that really matter and bring simplicity into my life, and getting rid of all the negativity.

I am watching everyone around me change their lives in significant ways. Moving away, breaking up with long term boyfriends, getting engaged. Though my changes may be more internal than others, I feel I am ready to truly 'start my life'. I am ready for change in any capacity.

Goodbye 2011, I thank you for the lessons and the misery because without it I would not be in the position I am now. Hello 2012, please for once please meet my expectations on what I want out of a year. Let me build my career the way I want it, let me finish my house in my spare time and let me plan a new holiday with that lovely boyfriend of mine. I don't ask for much...in fact all I want is within my own power, I just want you to allow it to happen.

Happy New Year everyone, no matter what you want 2012 to bring for you and whether 2011 panned out the way you want it I wish everyone the best. Just remember, this time of year is filled with hope. It's the one time of year you can forget the past and plan forward a better future with complete faith that it will turn out the way you want it.