When I was younger I always wanted to grow up. I couldn't wait for the day I was an adult and 'knew' what life was about. The day my life was my own. The day life became exactly what I wanted it to be. Since growing up I have come to love my adult life even more than I could have ever anticipated. My 'grown up' life has been a lot more difficult than I ever could have imagine. The hurdles, bumps and turns have been a lot larger and scary than anything I could have imagine, but the over side of those things have left me so happy and excited.
Other than losing the people I love in my life, nothing scares me more than happiness. Life is filled with so much disappointment so when life is bad, I feel it can't get any worse. When life is good, I feel I have so much to lose. For the first time in possibly ever I am truly happy with my life. Finally I have hit 'adulthood' and love it more than I can describe. For the first time in a long time I'm healthy and looking after myself, I trust in myself like I never have before and I trust in those around me like never before. My goal this year was to become mentally, physically and spiritually fit and healthy. Ten days in to the new year and I almost feel I'm there.
Anyone who knows me, knows I live by a few idealized quotes. One of these quotes is 'god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference'. This year that quote has come into full play in my life. I'm sick of being held down by people around me, sick of not allowing myself to be the person I want and sick of holding myself back and not letting my life head in the directions I want. In the past I have allowed the people around me to dictate the direction of my future, to try change the person I am and to bring me down. This year, I haven't and won't let that continue.
I have never been able to write about happiness. I have been writing since before I can remember, but happiness has never been a topic I have wanted to express to myself or those around me for so many different fears. This year, if I am happy I am going to write about it. I am not going to let others bring be down because I am proud of my accomplishments and happy with my life.
On a final note, I love my boyfriend. Another factor which I have always tried to suppress in worry of those around me. But he is the single most amazing and important aspect of my life and once again will become my number one priority in my life because he deserves it, and I am luckier than words can describe to have him as my own. For anyone who doesn't understand that, who find jealousy in that or who doesn't want me to be happy about that..get out of my life.
Other than losing the people I love in my life, nothing scares me more than happiness. Life is filled with so much disappointment so when life is bad, I feel it can't get any worse. When life is good, I feel I have so much to lose. For the first time in possibly ever I am truly happy with my life. Finally I have hit 'adulthood' and love it more than I can describe. For the first time in a long time I'm healthy and looking after myself, I trust in myself like I never have before and I trust in those around me like never before. My goal this year was to become mentally, physically and spiritually fit and healthy. Ten days in to the new year and I almost feel I'm there.
Anyone who knows me, knows I live by a few idealized quotes. One of these quotes is 'god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference'. This year that quote has come into full play in my life. I'm sick of being held down by people around me, sick of not allowing myself to be the person I want and sick of holding myself back and not letting my life head in the directions I want. In the past I have allowed the people around me to dictate the direction of my future, to try change the person I am and to bring me down. This year, I haven't and won't let that continue.
I have never been able to write about happiness. I have been writing since before I can remember, but happiness has never been a topic I have wanted to express to myself or those around me for so many different fears. This year, if I am happy I am going to write about it. I am not going to let others bring be down because I am proud of my accomplishments and happy with my life.
On a final note, I love my boyfriend. Another factor which I have always tried to suppress in worry of those around me. But he is the single most amazing and important aspect of my life and once again will become my number one priority in my life because he deserves it, and I am luckier than words can describe to have him as my own. For anyone who doesn't understand that, who find jealousy in that or who doesn't want me to be happy about that..get out of my life.
jade, your wisdom and understanding about life brings joy to my heart , dont ever change , thankyou to be you , love nanna p.s this is from my account (mason)
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