What's The Rush?

It is now my fourth year out of high school. Whilst in many ways I still feel like I am 17, I know I have grown up so much since then. Unlike many people my age I have a house and a long term relationships. I enjoy cooking and have the annoy chore of keeping a house semi tidy. Seeing as I have a lot of friends who are older than me, it seems engagement parties, weddings and babies are all the rage at the moment- neither of which are on the agenda for 2011 for me. I find it interesting this whole notion that at 21 we should be getting engaged or married and it something I often discuss at length. I have quite a few opinions on the matter-obviously which are very different to that of most people I know because not many people I know are in my particular situation.

I think to be engaged you have to live together first. By living together I don't mean spend every night at each others houses and I don't mean living with your parents. I have been there and done that for about 3 years before I moved out of home. Living together with your own rent or mortgage is it's own experience which, from my experience can alter a relationship. Stress, money, cooking, cleaning and the fact that you put yourself in a situation which results in a whole lot of alone time can impact a relationship both negatively and positively.

My opinion and perception on marriage and engagement is quite unique to those around me. I am in a situation where marriage isn't a question. It's going to happen, when we have the time and money to make it what we want. However, I want to be proposed too. I am a sucker for romance and I wouldn't marry someone who didn't go out of their way to make it special. I have been asked if I like the fact I know where my relationship is heading and the security which that provides. Though, I am secure enough in my relationship to not need to be engaged at 20, in ways I also feel like I am watching a movie where I know the ending. I am lucky enough to be able to get married young yet still have over 6 years of 'dating' behind me to know I am making the right choice.

I miss the times where my friends were changing relationships and our discussions didn't often result in wedding or baby talk. I feel 21 is too young to freely and openly discuss our semi-planned wedding destinations or the fact our boyfriends want to have babies with us. It's amazing myself and so many of my friends are in long term, secure relationships- yet a part of me wonders how we all ended up in these situations so young? I love weddings. I love engagement parties. I love the notion of love, romance and commitment. However, when you really stop and think about what kind of commitment we are all gearing ourselves up for I can't help but laugh. I was never going to be a girl who went from guy to guy, partying and hooking up with randoms. I also didn't think I would of been a 21 year old who has been in a relationship for 6 years.

I am a 'planner', I have goals which I strive to achieve on a continual basis. So this point in my life, evaluating what has happened to date I can't help but realise no matter how hard you try, it doesn't always go to plan. Its the uncertainty and unexpected things which often turn out the best. I never would have thought my 'rebound' boy who wore his pants half way down is butt, never left home without a backpack and had hair which covered his eyes would be the boy I planned to spend my life with.

I guess it comes back to my old, favourite saying; everything happens for a reason, reasons which are often unknown yet always make sense in hind sight. So I guess, what this little ramble is trying to get to and the point I am trying to make is that sometimes I wonder if we are all growing up to quickly. As children and teenagers we couldn't wait to get a little older. Now we can't wait to move out of home, get engaged, get married, have children and move on to any milestone we can. Once you reach each milestone you can't go back, and then you have the rest of your life to do what you have achieved so really, what's the rush?