A Love Child.

Today on the radio they were discussing the notion of having a 'love child' (big surprise!). This notion that your husband or father could have such a large secret in life that directly affects you astounds me. I couldn't image that level of pain, deceit and utter disappointment. The notion of a love child as a sibling somewhat hit close to home with me. Now don't get me wrong- my father didn't have a child with a random lady whilst married with my mum (well, that I know of anyways haha), however four or five years after their divorce he had a child with his then fiancée. The thing which got me in this discussion on 92.9 was the fact Lisa asked the sibling of a love child whether she loved her illegitimate brother we she found out about him. Obvious to most, her answer was yes of course.

In my I always assumed love for siblings no matter whether you know them closely or not is unconditional. My brothers mean everything to me, there is little in this world I wouldn't do for them. My sister, who is now six has been in and out of my life since she was born. Obviously I love her, but the bond which I with my brothers who I have spent my entire life with is no where near the bond I am yet to form with my sister. A part of me hopes that our age difference is the reason for that, and not the point that she has been kept away from me and my brothers. I often dream that one day, when she is older we will have that bond that sisters are meant to have, potentially a bond closer than the one have with my brothers.

In the case of a love child, and potentially in my case the victim of the situation is the children. The child in question is missing out on having siblings in their life and the bond the other siblings have. I never chose to have a sister, to be honest I never wanted it- but the second someone is brought in to your life and you love them so unconditionally it hurts to think they may no longer be there.

At the moment, my sister is back in my life. She is at an age where I think she need a positive role model in her life and stability which she potentially isn't getting. The notion of a big sister/ little sister relationship is one I have never understood. I have to continue to fight to see my own sister, and though she is here at the moment I have accepted the realistic possibility she isn't going to be a part of my life in the future.

I don't think I am ever going to understand how people can cause so much pain to the people they claim to love.